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***

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Real

You are real.

You are the one.

Today I speak to you –

And I give myself.

Let this build –

Within, whatever I am.

A slow a kill it is.

A slow pill it is.

Your music moves –

Moves my bones

Till they melt to water

And rains down

I will quench myself.

The symphony renders psychedelic,

The tenor sounds clear and sound.

Your magnificence screams through.

It is but an adoration of my love.

It is a confession of my hidden fears.

What do you know of my unrest?

The unrest that shatters through –

This moment of my unpleasant dream

You stand there laughing.

Laughing at my ignorance –

And I repent my inability.

Your rotting bread,

Your blessed grass,

Your roughened sword,

Your perennial scar –

Etched on my very being,

And I fall in despair –

The unknowing –

The unforgiving,

The forsaken –

The dying…

I twist and turn.

I quell and I burn.

I seek peace.

I miss –

The very reason you sent me unto.

Your sun burns me.

Your rains does console at times.

The freeze embitters me –

Till it mellows in watering frost

And yet I complain.

I complain of variety.

I shred my sobriety.

I lay down motionless –

Inert in my senses,

Till you send the thunder of passion –

It rains down on my inglorious being.

I am but just a ‘faqir’ –

I am but an absolved soul.

Off your generous abode

Cursed to haunt this very land you promised,

And yet I lay at ease.

I have got nothing to ask for.

I have nothing to cry upon.

I have no remittance.

I have no home.

In this wide world you left –

I roam wherever I belong.

And whenever I feel bereft,

Whenever I feel undone,

I hold on to my straining nerves.

And I say –

I am your puppet

You are my puppeteer.

*****

Sharon

Thousands of years I trod – as I tread this walk of life –
From the depths kissing the Lankan crest –
Far, further ahead into the darkning Malayan depths.
I have made the distance.
My feet has smelt the greying sands of Asoka's land, Bimbisaar.
I have walked through the darkness of Vidarbha.
A tired soul am I  –
All around me the froth, so lively, brims over.
But, for a moment’s breath you bequeathed unto me –
Suddenly, Sharon.

Her hair – lost, like lost day’s darkest nights,
Her face sculptured timeless – flawless, granite.
For puzzled Ulysses and his rudderless ship,
The tempt of the sirens, in his eyes –
Unto the green shores – deep inside the cinnamon island…

My eyes have touched her, thus – through the darkness.
And she has asked, “Where have you been so long?”
All, as she looked up through the naked forest of her dark eyelashes,
It was you, Sharon.

In the sound of dews – the night ascends.
The birds of prey shed feathers drenched of sunshine.
As The Light of world dims away –
The storybook comes alive.
Then unto the fireflies, nights glitter anxious.

The birds return home –
The rivers too –
Encore Life!

Darkness remains –
The face –
Sharon.

*****

(A relatively literal translation: My tribute unto the greatest work of Jibanananda Das – ‘Banalata Sen'. Some parts of it are twisted – based on my limited understanding. But with eons of languages apart, I guess it is important that the metaphors stand out starkly. However, this is nowhere close to the oceans of symbolism in his original. Add to that a few other gratifying suggestions as well! The bengali version follows.).

Salaam Bombay

Salaam Bombay

I try so much to think of loving you,

And I fail miserably –

Like the lone child on the street side.

For I cannot see through

Descending acrid smoke of burning flesh

I can’t turn my eyes away from the child –

Its flesh ripped and shred of impact

As he sits there, over the charred remains

Of its inconsequential social connect.

I cannot see how we all are not thus orphaned,

For where I stand – what I see

Everybody has been stripped bare –

Down to the inherited, bestial flesh and blood

I try hard to look through the chaos

Of uncertain lives fleeing in anticipation

I try hard to recollect our dreams, in my mind.

But the smoke stings, it pains so bad – so deep.

This earth, a sky seems unimaginably shattered

And through all this – my dear

I silently cry out loud to you

I kneel before you my beloved.

I pray to you – pull back the reins of time

And put me two moments before

The unforgiven, unwilling child of human wrath burst.

For a moment I will see the child lisp in its mother’s lap.

For a moment I will look up and bid goodbye to you.

Come to me now – my beloved,

For I try so hard to think of loving you.

________________________________

Before The Other Side

On a higher plane,

I’ll like to be here.

With a pang of guilt,

With a hint of hurt,

With a spring of feet,

Even in a brief spurt –

I will still like to be here.

In the first crush,

In the gardens lush,

In a glimmer of hope,

Believing neither Devil nor Pope –

I will like to be here.

Even in Satan’s lap,

Even at Heaven’s gate –

I’ll still like to be here.

*****

Pink Rubber Shoes

Pink Rubber Shoes

Ah, Yes! Squeaky clean rubber shoes,

Wonder what mischief they've been up to?

Squeaky clean rubber soles in puddles,

Wonder what the besotted devil might do!

*****

Hell Risen

Hell Risen

Once there was a wish
Of many lives torn apart –
Let them heal now.

Here trod the fire feet
Blazed earth stood bye –
Make way for them now.

Things fell together
Like a dramatic illusion –
They make sense now.

Heat and dust flew
In the maddening wind –
All seems clear now.

Whatever seems like a dream
Will fireball into reality –
Do not wake me up now.

*****

Why will Man dream
Where hope is but blind –
To the unbound Phoenix.

*****

It Rained That Day

It rained that day

It rained that day – incessant, unyielding,
Overcome with such grief, that it rained –
And it kept raining that day.
That stranger came looking, he looked for you.
He looked outside, he looked inside –
He looked me inside out.
In my eyes, under my skin – across my mind,
And yet you were not there.

Let him rest in peace.
For he could not see – You,
Coming again and again,
Splashing on the window pane.
Pacifying his soul with a whiff of life.

Life rained that day
You touched and I lived –
A hundred lifetimes and beyond.
Such, that it rained inside –
And it kept raining that day.

*****

The Man Who Became God

The Man Who Became God

Sky full of suns and stars,
World full of life –
Amidst all of these,
I have found,
I – have found my space.
In wonderment –
Thus doth arise,
Arises, my song

On the unbound rhythm,
On destiny’s cradle,
On the ebb & flow of tides,
The Universe swings.
In my veins,
The flow of blood –
Hath flooded in outburst
In wonderment –
Thus doth arise,
Arises, my song

On grasses I have trod
On way to the forest
On fragrance of flowers
Struck with joy –
My heart has rejoiced.
Here lies scattered
Happiness’ gifts
In wonderment –
Thus doth arise,
Arises, my song
I have lent my ears,
I have opened my eyes,
On Earth’s breast
I have offered my soul.
Amidst the known,
I have sought the unknown.
In wonderment –
Thus doth arise,
Arises, my song
Sky full of suns and stars

– Rabindranath Tagore.

______________________________

It is a day of solitary reclusion. Self imposed state of assertion and collapsing inside oneself to have a clearer view of the outside.

O Bulla! I know not who I am...

O Bulla! I know not who I am

Bulla, I know not who I am
Bulla, I know not who I am
Neither am I believer in mosque
Nor am I in idol worship.
Neither in the pure or the impure
Nor am I in the Vedas.
Neither am I into intoxicants,
Nor am I the carefree deviant.
Neither am I union nor grief.
Neither am I the pure nor impure.
Neither am I of the water nor of the land.
Neither am I fire nor air.
Bulla, I know not who I am.
Neither am I Arabic nor from Lahore.
Neither am I from the Indian city of Nagaur.
Neither am I Hindu nor a Peshawari Turk.
Neither did I create the difference of faith,
Nor did I create Adam and Eve.
Neither did I name myself,
Beginning or end –
I know just the self.
I do not recognize ‘the other one’.
There’s none wiser than ‘me’.
Who is this Bulla Shah?
O Bulla! I know not who I am.
*****
Bulleh Shah

Final Stand

Final Stand

Gospels of disbelief tend fear in a bountiful alcove,
Gathering mercy to bestow faith –
How cowardly and dastardly acts the self –
On an uneventful platter of life
On easier days when the moons shall burn bright red
And all suns and stars will be set alight to cinder and ash
In the disturbed horizons of a long billowing hurricane
I shall find my place under a warm blanket.

___________

A Breeze

A Breeze

See this shore on the island of my heart,
Come break on its parched sands.
And you will know how long monsoon
Has turned away and left me dry.
Can’t even find tears now – this moment,
And the dream of your dreams rises
Falls like an unsure yearning of ages gone.

Give me sight now, one miracle touch –
Balm my tired eyelids softly,
Hold my hands and let me walk beside.
The sun never craved for more.
Never the earth craved less for your feet.
I am hardly breathing now –
For one last time I breathe so easy.

You can save me now or let me die –
Here, where flowers bloom.
And I forget once again that I ever existed,
For it has never been quenched.
But please, my lady, when we stand –
Say not what you can say best.
For all these I shall feel no more, then –
The universe might crash inside.

The winds remain to speak unspoken.

*****

To Take Daffodils away

To take Daffodils away

Literally speaking...
An exciting and mysterious quality is
What I want, will come...
Just like that.

Daffodils whisper...
Lies are never more beautiful
Never ever anything else...
Hop along Sunshine.

Blade’s caress...
Mornings strew and I picked hurried
Stringing a new world...
Last in procession.

Suddenly snow...
Recollect bouts of cold, always hides
Licking icicles to water...
Daffodils shall prance.

Practically simple...
As irrationality of the transparent globe’s
Irresistible belief to shed...
Crafty – unknowingly brook.

-----

Soul Pot

Soul Pot

The silent drop of mellow orange
Slides down the sides of my soul pot.
Slowly seeps into the darkening, –
Molten measure of my sensibilities.
I get as close as I can get to me,
Without fear, neither relief nor angst.

I can’t see myself on that bank –
Not as clearly as I want to. And yet,
I seem to know the figure out there
As if it was nothing – other than me.
I see stretched across about to tear
Apart, from my being and all of me.

A thin green line marks boundary
And I ignore rule to be on other side,
Midget scratches on the drop’s face
Acrylic peace dissolves in the flight –
Of tethered wings and et al...

Eyes transfixed and clouding –
A restless search in the lees of soul pot.

*******

Good Morning Sunshine

Good morning Sunshine

Hovering over a silvery platter,
Watching elements pass by –
Wishing hellos and greetings,
Or just a passing glance enough.
Good morning Sunshine.

Gulps of life and dollops of soul
Drained of laze a hapless bird
Far – far away from its nest,
Shrugs its wings off all purpose.
Happy biddings Sunshine.

Happy now or ethereal solitude.
Dust of last night’s storm –
Subsides under its dry skin,
In peace of atoned dissatisfaction.
A very good day, Sunshine.

Still not overcome by the snow
That fell so incessantly last night.
Never thought of a day with you,
Night was cold and blew me away.
Welcome back Sunshine.

A cup of coffee?
... With me, Sunshine?

_____________

Dark Horse

Dark Horse

Cooper
Super
Bowl.

Flower
Bower
Stole.

Cracker
Tracker
Goal.

Finish
Famish
Roll.

Lamer
Tamer
Hole.

Withered
Tethered
Soul.

*****

Shores of Paradise

Shores of Paradise

As I think, you hold my hands,
You look up to me
A smile dawns on your rose petal lips.
I look down on the golden sands
As they stretch far –
Ambling across, the Shores of Paradise.

You unfurl your radiant frock –
Over the dry waves
And settle on single petal of first daffodil,
In my precious private garden.
And then you speak
Pearls grace words as they tumble inside.

Your hair floats with the breeze
In your carelessness
A caress it deserved, only from your palms.
My last few wish tries to touch
And I hold back –
And let you stay, on my Shores of Paradise.

My eyes dilates for a split second
On a singular thought
For the Darkness approaches soon and I pray.
For a Moon for my starry eyed sky
I open my dry eyes –
I find you still there, staring at me quizzically.

I am left sorry again and grounded
For you are still there,
Basking in golden sunset as you kissed the air.
You prance away for a moment,
And turn and kneel –
Sprinkling waves of sand in unusual trajectories.

(Snap)

...The Moon shines,
Full Moon on my night sky
As I amble along my silver Shores of Paradise.

Tides ebb at a distance
The lost sea-gull takes a dip,
In the frozen confines of my fathomless, dark, blue sea.
It is painful...
It is close enough.
____________
*******

Tiring Eyes

Tiring Eyes

Then the sky falls asleep.
In the heart of darkness
Timid, glow bug’s fire –
Glow on dinghy’s sides.
Distant strains or a hoot!
Some engine huffs home.
Flowers of roadside bush
Gather, with stories new.
Dusty, virgin flowers –
What stories do they say?

Then the Atlantis sinks
In space of apocalypse
And the empire melts –
On a generous dream,
Of a sparkling goblet,
Brimming pearl red –
Life or honey? Beheld
To my lips, my breath,
In hands of moonlight.
If need be, let it flow –
Along with my religion.
And I shall lay in peace,
And sink into the breast
Where river of blue wine flow.

And like these dreams,
The nights have gone by.

Now all those flowers
Swing silent – lifeless,
Their tired, withered bows
Reach to snatch the moon.

*****

Guilty of an Embrace

Guilty of an Embrace

And then I lost it once again.
Loss never came so precious.
Feelings haven’t touched yet.
Lips they speak heart’s words
And so it doesn’t matter why.

Love came in silence of dewdrops
Never knew when it left weeping.
It came again – it never knocked,
And again it left blind, unknown.

Many years have past since then,
Many days have melted in spring.
What difference does it make now
Now, that I can feel all over again.

Thirst to feel is satiated now.
Deserts turn back from oasis.
Heart of sand breathes again.
The lonely door stands – still.

All around, walls that stood,
Came crashing down in dust.
Anguish lay in a ruined heap.
A single streak of brightness,
Tore apart – descending mist.

*******

And...

...no matter what, whatever repetation - it never really stops.

It Will Rain

But in the end
It all adds up to nothing.
Take time to explain
I can't take it rushing.
Look into my eyes
You don't have to go hiding.
Down in the shadows
Where my heart's been grieving.

And it will rain, when you come back again.
And it will pain, when you suffer the same.
And the sky will cry, when you walk pass by.
And you know it before I die.
It's all the same.
It's raining again.
Into the sun – inside my brain.
And it will rain... it will rain.

There was no time
To know how we're changing.
And to bear the cost
Is way more than avenging.
See through me now
And you can't see the promise.
Try a little hard
You'll see me no more grieving.

And it will rain, when I'll walk away.
And it will pain, on your shiny day.
And will take a while, to find my way.
And I know I will make it someday.
It's all the same.
It'll rain again.
Deep inside your pain – it will rain again.
And it will rain... it will rain.

*****